How to Carry Shame Without Resentment
Shame isn’t a side effect here. It’s a working tool — the very thing a lot of this is built around. The goal isn’t to get rid of it, but to learn to carry it without falling apart or letting it turn into resentment.
The first distinction that changes everything: shame for what you did and shame for who you are. “I’m ashamed to stand here like this in front of her” is the workable kind; it fades and usually leaves the two of you closer.
Further in this chapter: After that it almost always eases
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Nearby in this book
The right way to receive discipline without arguing
What to Expect When Sub Drop Hits
When Your Husband Talks Back
— Vera